So…it’s February 1st…how are those New Year’s resolutions going?
If you’re killing it, rock on. But if not, read on.
I don’t think I bothered with resolutions prior to getting married. Mainly because in my mid-twenties I was healthy, skinny, broke, and working my butt off. My goal at that point was just to keep the good stuff, and improve the bad stuff. It wasn’t until I hit 30 that I started adding categories, but they were pretty general and focused on family, health, work, finances, and (sometimes) faith. As I got older, and life got busier, I began adding more specific long-term goals. With timelines and outlines. White boards and post-it notes. Legal pads and bullet journals. Eventually I had friends that I began doing this with every year so we could support each other. And drink mimosas while doing it. The process has evolved in many good ways.
One of the more helpful changes I have added to this process it the monthly goal reset. It gives me a focused time to evaluate and reset every few weeks instead of, well, waiting until December 31st.
We often set our goals assuming perfect conditions that will allow us to keep our new schedules and plans without interruption. Things start off great, but then life happens. In fact, a LOT can happen in a month. Your kids get the flu and miss a bunch of school. Your dog develops a weird, hacking cough that sounds like a barking seal and keeps you up at night and needs to go to the vet. Your car check engine light comes on and you have to spend four hours at the auto mechanic. Then you wake up and feel like someone beat you with sock full of rocks and realize now you have the flu. You recover from all of these mishaps, because you are reasonably good at being an adult, but your resolutions have taken a back seat. You go from hitting the gym five days a week, to maybe one and have a hard time getting back in the groove. We’ve all been there.
Instead of giving up, or just falling into a total reactionary mode, I invite you to sit down on the first of the month and reset your goals.
Start over. Every month.
Grab yourself a cup of coffee and a yellow legal pad. With an honest and kind heart, really review the previous month – what did I accomplish, what didn’t happen as planned, how did I/we (the family) feel, what did we do for fun, what obstacles did I encounter?
Next, assess things as they exist right now – how is my work and physical/mental health, how are the kids, what about extended family and pets, anything wrong with the house or cars or finances that require attention? Where am I on the timeline for my bigger goals?
Then, based on all of the information you just gathered, you can RESET.
Make the appointments. Plan the meals. Schedule time with friends. Get back at the gym. Restart the meditation practice. Write every evening before bed. Study your hobby. Draft the new business proposal. Practice your instrument. Whatever. Just make the plan and write it down.
Let last month go, and get back at it.
I am one of those people who uses a bullet journal, so I have two dedicated pages for each month. I like to add the new goals to one page where I can track my progress. The other page contains a running to-do list that always starts with the same nine tasks:
- Replace furnace filter
- Clean out my car
- Clean out my purse and gym bag
- Put all appointments from my phone onto weekly tear off calendar (I put one week at a time onto the fridge so the girls and I can quickly see what’s going on)
- Clean dishwasher filter/coffee maker
- Clean out fridge
- Pay bills and update Quickbooks/sort any mail/clean off home desk
- Clear out my email inbox
- Choose new book to read (and give yourself permission to not finish any book that bores you!)
Getting these things done automatically makes me feel productive and organized, which gives me momentum for the rest of the month. When my kids were babies, I remember the pediatrician explaining that “sleep begets sleep”, meaning that you need sleep in order to have future sleep. I find the same in life, that “good habits beget good habits” so starting off with early success leads to future success.
And all of this – the reviewing, the goals, the lists – it obviously isn’t for everyone. I just know I need it. It keeps all the open tabs in my wee brain organized. It helps me to remember important information. It gives my day structure and purpose- things good for my mental health. It allows space for joy in my life. It keeps my household running without any major disasters. Does it always work? No, of course not. But it certainly helps.
This system allows you twelve chances to restart and set goals instead of one, but the reality is that we all get a chance to reset EACH DAY. Don’t let slip ups, bad moods, general life chaos and the occasional unfocused day ruin your mojo. Sometimes it’s easier to focus on doing the best you can for *that* day instead of a whole month or year.
So, if you’ve learned anything from this post, I hope it’s to be kind to yourself, take a deep breath, and just try, try again.
Cheers!
Nice post. My motivational word for the year is focus. I’m too scatterbrained and unstructured, so I now have everything in a google calendar for each day – people to contact for business, events or volunteering I’ve committed myself to, the girls’ events and activities, and appointments that have been made. It’s not particularly fun, but at least I’m not double-booking anymore and disappointing people by not showing up when I’ve said I’ll be there. Or, if something does come up out of the blue that requires my immediate attention, I can at least text or call whatever or whoever it is that I’ll have to miss with a valid reason.